How hard can it be?
As I sit writing this in my peaceful lounge I wonder what changes will happen in our lives apart from the obvious ‘adjustments’ that come with having baby. I can sit here and mentally prepare myself for our third baby but do I really know what I’m letting myself in for? I’ve done it all before, twice and managed to survive and here I am again about to do it all again and will probably forget all of the stuff you expect to retain. Of course, it’s not something I can change or back out of now (not that I’d want to mind) as our beautiful baby is due to arrive next month and our life as a family of four will no longer be. A family of five all of a sudden seems pretty huge…
Amongst all of the usual late pregnancy gripes, I’ve been trying my hardest to quash my general grumpiness and make sure I reflect on this pregnancy and the fact it won’t be something I will ever be doing again, as this is totally our last baby. I remind myself that it’s important to cherish these last few weeks of evil acid reflux misery and a hip that regularly fights against me – because it’s a small price to pay for our last precious child. I know all of this and despite my moans and groans I know that the pregnancy woes are all forgotten about once the baby arrives and then the early newborn days whizz by in a haze of sleep deprivation and chaos. I’m actually preparing for chaos – this is a real possibility.
So with thinking about the impending chaos, I’m mindful to not want to wish these last few weeks away. I remember thinking when the boys were born and I had to spend time away from them that in some ways being pregnant was the one time that you have your baby with you at all times and have them in a safe place. Absolute madness when you’re pregnant as you want them out as soon as they’re ready! So although I missed them being all safe with me, I’m certainly not one of those people that misses their bump. I’ve embraced my bump and have some lovely clothes to dress my bump age with but thanks but no thanks, I’ll have my flabby tummy and body back anyday.
I’m also aware that the next few weeks will be the last ones where I’m a Mum to two boys, who vie for my attention all of the time and will inevitably feel a little swayed by the the changes that are going to happen. Although we have some amazing times ahead where our family will be complete, I’m also aware that the dynamics will change and I hope that my boys will always know how much I love them and how special they truly are. They after all, made me the mother that I am today.