Yesterday the day finally arrived for us to attend the Anamoly scan at exactly 20 weeks. It was late in the afternoon so I had all day to think about it and wait for it but it worked out easier for my husband with his work, so a little wait didn’t hurt me. It was a big day as it always is having the anatomy scan as any concerns and abnormalities are likely to be picked up at this point. It is such a happy, exciting day but you just never know so it was such a relief to see that bubba is doing just fine.
I had been drinking tea with a friend before the scan (who kindly looked after Beastie whilst we were there) so I needed the loo as a matter of urgency once we arrived in the waiting room. On every occasion I have needed a scan I have had to empty my bladder, so this time I emptied it straight before the scan, seeing as it has made no difference in my case each time. Being extremely uncomfortable whilst a sonographer is pressing quite firmly on your abdomen, does not make for a pleasant experience. I am so glad I did as we could see very clearly and there was no wincing on my part! I know everyone’s anatomy and size is different but it really is torture sitting with a full to bursting bladder.
When we were called by the sonographer and taken to our room, I suddenly felt really nervous and could see my husband’s unease. No it wasn’t just the really important aspect of this scan we were fretting about, it was the impending reveal of our babies sex that had us anxious. Of course it was amazing seeing our baby again on the screen and in so much detail. I stared agog at the screen marvelling at the tiny spine and physical form of our baby. It’s truly extraordinary to see again what is growing in my body. I felt myself hold my breath slightly as our baby was scanned carefully from head to foot and measured. I stared intently at the legs trying to see some evidence of which gender, little did I know my husband had already made his own conclusions. Then the elusive question came ‘Would you like to know what you are having?’ I said yes please and the sonographer asked if we were sure to which I confirmed we definitely were.
I held my breath for a moment and then heard him say ‘It’s a boy’. My husband and I had suspected deep down that we would be blessed with another boy, my husband in particular. I guess when you have a preference you always assume that you will get the opposite. We are not ashamed to admit that we felt a little strange and the emotions were very mixed. I know of other people that have had the same emotions and it is human nature. On one hand we were overjoyed to see our baby in more detail and to hear the good news that all is it as it should be with him. On the other hand we felt slightly sad that we may not experience being parents to a daughter. I did surprise myself by immediately thinking to myself that I wouldn’t rule out a third child in the future, this is not something that I have ever really entertained the idea of. What did happen when we got home and the news had sunk in a little, was that we are so incredibly lucky to be having a healthy bouncing boy. So incredibly lucky seeing that some people are unable to have children or may need help conceiving. We knew these feelings would be there but we have dealt with them and have looked at the bigger picture. I think you always want what you haven’t got and this may be the case here. When I sit and think about having another boy I realise that I have never seen myself with girls, I am very biased to baby boys, but I think that’s natural. I think we will always wonder about having a daughter but you never know what will happen in the future…
Beastie will have a little brother and I am so excited to see them grow up together and the joy that two boys will bring to our lives. We have been busy looking at names, which was a concern in itself as before the scan we hadn’t a clue on a name. We had avoided thinking of one because we didn’t have any options to choose from. For now we think we have a name, just like Beastie’s name we both looked at it and said we liked it. Now I think we have the name, I am starting to get even more excited about meeting him as it’s all so real now he has a name. I may soon be living in a house full of boys but they’re my boys and this is our destiny.