Tears over nursery and new times ahead

by Hannah

Just when I think I can finally relax and put my feet up in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, something crops up. I have been happily plodding along knowing that Beastie will stay put at the nursery that he attends and has done for the past 2 years, safe in the knowledge that he will remain settled for the time being. I was happy that he would have continuity, keep his friends and that I would have a couple of days a week with our new baby. To me it seemed the perfect balance and besides it costing money to send him there I thought that we would be able to afford it, just. Today I have properly surveyed my pay schedule for my maternity leave and besides being under the assumption that I get 2 months full pay to start with, it would appear it’s not quite the full amount I am used to and each month it gets progressively worse. I was about to ring payroll and have it out with them but after tapping away at my calculator and wanting to scream, it would appear all their calculations add up and if I was to ring them I would only sit there dumb not having a clue what they are telling me. I also don’t particularly want someone actually pointing out that times are looking pretty dismal.

A few months back I looked into getting him into a pre-school so that he could take his 15 hours government funded time, from April. We visited a nice pre-school and I put his name on the waiting list. It didn’t have the same feel to it as his nursery but I figured that I would feel that anyway as I didn’t want to move him. I thought nothing more of it and my husband and I talked about it and decided that he should stay put at his nursery, doing 2 full days with his pre-school hours starting from April. The downside was that we would have to pay for the remainder of each day, after 3 hours were deducted seeing as it is a hospital nursery and runs throughout the year and they can’t accept children for 3 hours a day. With a new baby on the way I didn’t much like the idea of having to take Beastie to nursery every day or thereabouts for a few hours only to have to return and pick him up before I knew it.  Now it seems to be the only option.


Now to get Beastie a place...


So after digging around looking for the letter inviting me to request which pre-school sessions I wanted, I noticed that the deadline for submitting it has passed! I went to visit the place so long ago that I had almost forgotten that they would get in touch. I very almost threw it out the other week as I assumed that he wouldn’t be going and now here I am desperately trying to get hold of them to find out if he has a place. I have rung, no answer, and I have written an email hoping that they might take pity on me. You may ask why am I getting so stressed? I am after all on maternity leave and available to look after him every day and in the position to not have to fork out on childcare unnecessarily. It’s the fact he’s happy and in a lovely environment for learning and enjoying time with his peers.

I have cried and cried this afternoon because I am so heartbroken for him. Heartbroken that he will have to leave the fantastic class he is part of and the relationships he has built up with the other children and staff there. He talks about them all the time and he’s full of beans after every day he spends there. I’m also happy with the nursery and the stimulation that they provide him. Will he be so happy anywhere else and will he form bonds like he has now? I am sure he will but I am not relishing the idea of change right now. Hopefully we can get into some sort of routine once the baby arrives and I will find a balance with Beastie and the baby. It stresses me out just the thought of the logistics of getting them out of the flat everyday and it not being so easy in a flat as it would be in a house. I will have to pull my finger out and find some play groups that we can all attend and meet up with friends more often, not to mention more fun activities at home.

This afternoon I will have to have a chat with the nursery manager and explain the situation. The childcare vouchers I give to the nursery are paid a month ahead so I am hoping that it will give him a little extra time there without it costing us too much extra. Hopefully I won’t get too emotional and do something embarrassing like cry on them. The pre pregnant me would most certainly not do that. The pregnant me can’t be trusted.


HELEN 28th February 2012 - 4:26 pm

ahh bless you…don’t get stressed & upset, it will work out and wherever Beastie goes I’m sure he will make new friends, he’s that kind of boy. Hopefully the pre-school will get in touch & they will have a place for him….

I hope it went ok with your chat with the nursery manager too.

If only you were a bit closer then Beastie could go to pre-school with Jack.. 🙁

Mummybeastie 28th February 2012 - 9:15 pm

Thank you Helen, I am over the worst now and have pulled myself together! Fingers crossed for the pre-school and yes wouldn’t it be great if Jack and Beastie were in the same class xx

Lucy at Dear Beautiful Boy 28th February 2012 - 4:52 pm

Oh hun, this is definitely not the kind of stress you need with all those late pregnancy hormones. I really feel for you and totally understand why you’re upset.
Fingers crossed that there is a place for him at the preschool. And as Helen said, Beastie will be fine and will make new friends really quickly. Try and view the positives, like the fact that getting him used to change will help to prepare him for school. And the fact that you are going out and about every day to get him there, will mean that you’ll probably get the baby onto a routine quicker. Plus you’ll be saving that money to spend on fun activities at you can all do.
I’m sure it’ll all work out. xx

Mummybeastie 28th February 2012 - 9:17 pm

Thanks Lucy 🙂 I know I thought that this morning that I must calm down. It was one of those moments where I suddenly realised everything would have to suddenly change and I was so annoyed with myself for not properly doing my sums! I know you are all right, it was similar to when I first put him in nursery at 10 months, it was far worse for me than it was for him. He’s a brave boy and I know he will fit in wherever I take him x

Katie @mummydaddyme 28th February 2012 - 8:33 pm

Oh hun only just read this, this is the last thing you need at the moment. Am i being dumb but whats the difference between pre-school and nursery?
I am sure it will all work out and Beastie will be happy whereever he is, although I know that doesn’t help at the moment. He is such a happy sociable little boy he will make friends whereever he is xx

Mummybeastie 29th February 2012 - 6:28 pm

Pre-school is government funded classes with some structure. Nursery is just play school really. Hopefully he has a place secured now 🙂 xx

Bethanygp 28th February 2012 - 9:34 pm

I’m so sorry for you and Beastie, especially with this happening right before the new little one comes. I hope someone will take pity on you and give Beastie a spot somewhere.

Mummybeastie 29th February 2012 - 6:27 pm

Thank you 🙂 Things are looking up and I have a pre-school place for him (hopefully) x

sarahmumof3 28th February 2012 - 9:53 pm

aww change is always a stressful time but more so for us adults, your little boy will no doubt be as happy in the new preschool, is it the same preschool as he will eventually attend as a school? if so then thats a deffinate bonus? pregnancy hormones are terrible for making things seem unreasonably upsetting but have faith everything will work out just fine once your bubs is here x

Mummybeastie 29th February 2012 - 6:29 pm

I was definitely being very over emotional yesterday and I feel much better today, thankfully. Sometimes offloading does you good. I think everything works out for a reason in the end 🙂 x

Tanya (Bump2Basics) 29th February 2012 - 12:14 pm

Pregnancy hormones do not help anything! I hope that you get the preschool sorted and this worry soon lifts. Sounds like Beastie is resilient and will do great wherever he goes but I understand what you mean about change and the suddeness of it all. Also feel your pain re maternity pay – mine is the basic package so we have reduced LLC’s hours with the childminder from 3 full days to 2 half days / week to try for some continuity. Then again it could be worse – in the States where I’m from there is no SMP at all!

Mummybeastie 29th February 2012 - 6:31 pm

I heard back from the pre-school and they have places, so that was a big relief this morning. I am also much happier today so these hormones have a lot to answer for! I suppose we should count ourselves lucky getting SMP here as it must be a real struggle in the States? sometimes things need putting into perspective…thanks for your comment x


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