Raising a family is hard. No matter how many perfect little squares you see online, or what your friends may preach, it’s difficult. Some days are easier than others, of course. And they always will be. Even with angel children, times get tough. Because kids get tired, you get tired, and everything falls apart. But, the next day, you get to start again. And that’s all that matters. Yet, when you’re stuck in a cycle of difficult days, the kids don’t seem to listen to anything you say, and your fighting with your spouse, you may feel like giving up. Because times feel just too tough to persevere. Yet persevere you must, as there’s really no alternative. So, it’s always a good idea to have a handy toolkit to turn to at times like this!
Sure, even when you’re in the best frame on the best day of the year, there will be wobbles – but the idea is that you’re trying. That you’re really looking to give family life, parenting, and your marriage your all. And this will often require a plan. Yes, you could bring a family lawyer if you think that’s your only option, but isn’t it better to try and create a happy family life first, before you have to resort to that? Because sometimes, it seems like the answer, but it doesn’t fix things! So if you know that you want to have a happy family life together with your family, that you want to strengthen your relationship with your husband and enjoy being a mama, here’s what to do.
Identify The Problem Areas
To start with, you need to make sure that you know what the issues are. There are lots of problems that can arise in family relationships, but you need to pinpoint them. So what’s wrong? Are you tired and overworked and stuck in mum life? Are you taken for granted? Are your kids misbehaving? Are you constantly bickering with your spouse? The first step in fixing things is knowing what you need to fix.
But, this can be tough. Because maybe you don’t want to take the blame? If you are serious about this, then you need to be able to be objective and be honest about what’s really going on – especially if your thoughts or actions are causing the problems.
Know What You Want
Next, you really need to know what you want to achieve. What issues you want to avoid and the positive changes you want to put in place. Understanding what you’re working towards can then allow you to identify the changes you need to make that happen.
Visualise Who You Want To Be
If you’re not sure what that looks like, or you’re struggling to see how you’re going to make changes, then you need to visualise. Visualisation is a powerful tool. It can show you how your life will look, or how you need to think or act in order to make changes. So really think about what that family life looks like, and what the best version of you looks like to. This can then help you to put the steps in place for you to actually bring that all to life.
Start The Day Right
One of the best ways that you can make sure you have a great day, is to start it off right. It can be strange to get used to new morning habits, but if you can get yourself into the right frame of mind early, you set the right intentions for the day ahead. So get up early, drink water, exercise, think positive, be grateful, read, avoid tech, and just spend an hour or so to yourself and getting the day off with a healthy start.
Then, you just need to slow down. Don’t always be rushing and stressing and worrying. Take a step back, breathe, and go a little slower. Enjoy each moment, work to make it positive and happy. When you stop living on autopilot and slow down, it’s easier to be control how the days go.
As a step on from, that, you also need to be present too. That idea of living on autopilot is keeping you in a bad, and negative loop. Instead, you need to really be in the moment with your family, be grateful for all that you have, and allow yourself to truly spend time with them. This step can really change your life.
Have Date Nights
The next thing you need to do, is to make your marriage a priority. Because the better partner you can become, the better mother you will be overall. And, not only that, but if you’re happy in your relationship, it will rub off on your happiness in life overall. So make sure that you plan in weekly (yes, weekly) date nights for you and your spouse to spend quality time together. It really will allow you to enjoy a better relationship together.
Plan In Fun
And then, you need to do the same for your family too. Yes, you’re a parent and you’re looking to raise your children well, but you really do not have to be the disciplinarian at all times. Instead, you need to have fun with your kids – especially if you want to have a happy family life and great relationships with your kids. So plan in play days, day trips, family holidays, and just fun activities for you all to enjoy. The better your bond, the happier your life can become.
But above all else, you have to realise that things just aren’t going to change overnight. This could take weeks or months or years for you to perfect. But, because you’re working on your relationship and you’re willing to give it your all, you’re definitely on the right track. So be patient. Both with your family and the idea of this working. The calmer, kinder, and more positive you can be in any situation, the better it will be for everyone. So enjoy the process and just keep putting the work in.
Nb. Collaborative post.