So firstly, just to clarify this, boys totally rock. Obviously my firstborn is a boy and he taught me what being a mother is all about. I’ve mentioned before that my son’s have certainly moulded me into the mum that I am today and for this reason I was heavily biased towards boys (naturally) because of this. Boys sure love their mum’s, this much I am privileged to experience. I hope that when they’re all big and grown up, that they will always show their softer side to me.
So having been busily parenting boys for the past six years, I only ever used to wistfully dream of what it would be like to have a daughter. At one point, I very much believed that we would stop at the two boys and thrilled as I was to be their mum, there was that little part of me that longed for a girl and all that accompanies having a daughter.
For me, I wanted to experience the ‘mother/daughter’ bond. You know, a bond that I feel is slightly different to what you might have with a son. I don’t speak for all relationships, none are cut and dry but on the whole the dynamics are a little different between the sexes.
I always used to think that the saying ‘A son is a son, until he finds a wife and a daughter, is a daughter for life’ was really poignant. I used to think that it was hurtful in some ways, said by smug mothers of girls and almost implying that the relationship you have with boys won’t remain that way forever more, being that mothers are cast aside in favour of wives. It’s just one of those old sayings that I do believe holds some truth but only because men don’t tend to call their mum’s to have a chat etc like women do. Of course, there are many families where this is not the case but usually daughters tend to be more involved with their mum’s once they have left home.
As I get to know this little girl and her personality a bit more everyday, I’m excited for the journey ahead and discovering the different aspects to raising a girl. She has been very much welcomed by her bigger brothers and brings out traits in them that I haven’t seen before.
People often ask if three is hard work. You know, two is hard work and was the steepest learning curve for me. As soon as you have more than one child on your hands, it becomes much harder! Two energetic boys can make caring for her more challenging and this is when I really feel like I’m ‘winging it’ some days.
I think if we had had a child of each sex, then we probably wouldn’t have had another. I didn’t grow up with the ideal of having three children but I guess life is full of surprises and avenues that you might not have once thought was for you.
So there isn’t really anything more precious in life, than this little family that we have become now. You really never know what the future holds for you but all you can do is to strive for the best and go with your gut instincts. Life has a funny way of working out sometimes.