Women huh! You can’t live with them…..
Some of you know me, some of you know of me and some of you don’t know anything about me. Some of you probably thought Hannah had an imaginary husband the amount of times I appear in her photos (or lack of!). So here I am…
When it comes to Hannah’s blog I will do anything I can to support and help her out. We often discuss her blog which in turn leads to talking about other peoples posts and blogs. This gave me an idea to do a featured post on her blog, something which I haven’t really seen anyones partners do yet. This idea was based on a conversation we were having this morning about bodies, shapes, sizes and appearances. Luckily this doesn’t lead to arguments in our house as I will either pretend I don’t hear her or will just walk away…
Being a teenager in the 90’s, I had this image of what the perfect woman looked like. She was a mix of all of my favourite looking women; Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (Kelly from Saved by the Bell!), Cindy Crawford, Jet from Gladiators, Louise Nurding (now Redknapp), Terri Hatcher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jenny McCarthy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, plus I am sure there were more! They all had one thing in common, they were all slim, very petite, stunning to look at and in some cases surgically enhanced.
Because of this perception I had, I assumed that girls should look like that in every day life, despite the fact that these women actually have personal trainers, make-up artists, hair stylists and more who are paid to make them look like that.
I am not one of these men that will lie and say I was attracted to personality first, I wasn’t, I fell for Hannah based purely on her looks and appearance as she ticked all of the boxes of reminding me what the perfect woman looked like. I had never spoken to her or knew anything about her so I couldn’t know what her personality was like. The moment I first saw her I had this new feeling I had never had before, something told me that she would be the person I was going to end up marrying. She was slim, pretty, had a great figure, I was instantly attracted to her, the only thing I didn’t know was what she was like past what I could see with my eyes.
Fast forward a fair few years and since the birth of my firstborn, not only have my perceptions changed but also what I think the ideal woman looks like in my eyes. This won’t be the same for all dad’s/men out there, this is just from my perspective.
After she had given birth to our eldest, when she was finally out of those god awful looking nursing bras and huge pants to boot, I saw something different. I can’t explain why but I started to see her differently now, seeing what she had just gone through and feeling so helpless that I couldn’t share the pain or take any of it away.
I instantly felt closer to her, more attracted to her, I wanted to be closer to her at every opportunity. I saw her post baby body differently to how she did, I saw it as curvy in the right places, her scars, the imperfections, the way her stomach now sat differently because of the mess that was made after her emergency c-section. I saw all of these things as how I think a real woman looks. The only way I can describe it is when you are child and you cut your knee and you end up with this awesome looking scab that you know will eventually turn into a scar that you can boast to your mates about (now you can see why I don’t write as I struggle using the right terminology!). This was the way I now see my wife and in part changed my views on how other women looked.
No longer was I this critical, judgemental man who if he saw a woman not looking like a 90’s sex symbol would snigger to himself. I am not saying I go around eyeing up other women, but if I see someone on TV, walking down the street, in the shops, its human nature to look and notice, just don’t get caught doing it! I knew it was wrong to cast judgement but I am like most red blooded males, we see with our sexual thoughts a lot of the time and it doesn’t enter our minds what that woman has been through in her life to look the way she does.
After being together for nearly ten years now, we have been through a lot, there have been bumps along the way which kind of describes what we look like! Hannah’s appearance might not be deemed as ‘perfect’ to the rest of the world but her appearance is perfect in every way through my eyes. I love the way she looks both in and out of clothes.
I will never forget this one day we went shopping to Westfield in London, I was walking behind Hannah by a few metres (as she wouldn’t wait!), I was walking with our then youngest and our eldest with Hannah. A couple of guys walked past Hannah and did the classic look back to check out her behind, they then turned back and looked at each other and said ‘niiiiiice’… They didn’t notice me, but I felt lucky and had a smile on my face. I didn’t need reassurance as I already knew how good she looked, but it was nice that other people who didn’t know her, were checking her out, because in her eyes those days of going out and being noticed were gone.
The best part of the day is always the start of it, it starts the same way, watching Hannah getting ready in the mornings…We are not prudish in our house and think nothing of walking around naked, that’s how we are. We are not exhibitionists by any means, but we are also not adults who try and hide and shy away from each other. Because of this, I get to see her beautiful body in the flesh every morning, you can’t beat a start to your day seeing something that looks that good.
You may think I am biased and/or pervy, but imagine yourself living with your secret crush and not checking them out! I married mine and in a world where people have never been more scrutinised for the way they look, I think that’s pretty awesome. I am proud to say she is not stick thin, with boobs pushed up to her chin, as the curves she has and the imperfections to compliment them are what makes her a real woman. I just wish she would see her body the way I do and not care so much about what other think. This is Hannah, how I see her.
There is no one size fits all, so whilst you may not love the body you now have post baby/s, I am pretty sure your partner does and sees you, how I see my wife.
Nb. This is a guest post by Alex, Hannah’s husband. All thoughts and opinions are my own. You will also know that this isn’t a post by Hannah, because she really didn’t want me including that last picture of her!